


Da Capo al Fine

by Sixylicious



Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asexual Character, Asexual Inquisitor, Cameos, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Anders/Hawke, Past Isabela/Hawke - Freeform, Polyamory, Queerplatonic Anders/Surana, Queerplatonic Relationships, Warden Inquisitor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-07-14 23:25:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7195502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sixylicious/pseuds/Sixylicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An undercover mission from Weisshaupt goes awry when former Warden Commander Surana goes to the Conclave and ends up walking out of the Fade.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This grew a plot on me. Continuity edits on 6/23 and 12/31/16.
> 
> Da capo al fine - Italian; "return to the beginning and continue until the end"
> 
> mon ange - my angel; what Aria calls Leliana  
> ma chèrie - my dear; what Leliana calls Aria

Aria stirred, her whole body aching. Where was she? The cold stone floor brought back memories in flashes: Kinloch, the Circle, sneaking down to visit Anders in solitary. The cold floor of the Harrowing Chamber as Irving helped her up. Fort Drakon: the prison, and later the roof. A deep breath - the air ice cold, the musty stone, and the faintest hints of blood - and she knew exactly where she was. Haven. The Temple of Sacred Ashes. The Conclave? What had happened?

Footsteps. The door opening. Aria's heart stopped for a moment as she realized who was in front of her now, glaring angrily. Seeker Pentaghast, Right Hand of the Divine. And that meant-

"Cassandra, stop. We need her."

The joy at hearing Leliana's voice was cut short as something sparked brilliant green, pain shooting from her palm the likes of which she'd only felt once before, during the death throes of the Archdemon. Leliana left before Aria could call out, and soon she found Cassandra freeing her from her shackles. The Seeker lashed her wrists together so tightly that Aria winced, but then she was led out of the Haven chantry and into a world in chaos.

"We call it the Breach," Cassandra said. "A tear in the Veil, growing larger every minute. As it expands, so does your mark. It is killing you."

Aria followed, numb, as Cassandra led her through Haven and explained what had happened. The Conclave had been destroyed and she was the only survivor. Lavellan, they called her, if they used a name at all. Who would recognize Aria Surana, once the Hero of Ferelden, looking like this? Her hair long and styled differently, elfroot green vallaslin painted onto her face by a young Dalish warden before she had left. She wore the marks of Dirthamen, the girl had called them. The keeper of secrets. As they left the confines of Haven and headed for the forward camp, Aria could not help a bitter smile. How fitting.

***

"Leliana?"

It had been a week since the Breach had opened, a week since she had fallen from the Fade and collapsed, a week since she had been branded and her life had changed - yet again - forever, and Aria still hadn't found the time to approach her lover. Leliana hadn't known she was at the Conclave; Aria remembered little, but she remembered that.

"Yes, Herald?"

Aria's smile faltered. How was she supposed to say this? Perhaps it was best just to get it over with. "Mon ange, it's me."

Leliana's eyes widened as the dots connected. "Aria! Ma chèrie, how?"

"Walk with me? I'll explain as much as I can."

Leliana straightened and glanced around. They weren't being watched right now, but that meant little in the spymaster's eyes. "Yes, let's."

They walked out past Haven's gates, past the recruits training, past the lake until they were truly alone. Only then did Aria finally close the distance between them and wrap her lover in a tight embrace. The bard embraced her back, months of separation finally behind them.

"Why were you at the Conclave? I haven't heard from you in months, I was so worried!" Leliana exclaimed.

Aria shifted, a sigh slipping from her lips. "I was at Weisshaupt when I last wrote. They had a mission for us, but I had to be undercover. They decided to pass me off as Dalish. Another warden came with us until we got to Ferelden... that's when my memory starts getting patchy."

"What do you mean?"

"I know I went to the Conclave looking for... something, but I don't remember what. What we heard and saw at the temple, I don't remember any of that. I don't remember the Fade other than the woman trying to help me. The red lyrium felt... familiar. I remember hearing about it in Kirkwall, but I'd never seen it before."

"I'm just glad you're okay," Leliana said, her smile what passed as relieved. "But we can't keep your identity a secret forever, you know that. For now, we need to tell the others."

"That means Cullen, doesn't it?" Aria asked, her expression displeased.

Leliana simply laughed. She knew her lover's opinion of Cullen, of course. "He's changed, I promise."

"I trust you." Aria glanced back toward Haven, the town that had once tried to kill her and now exalted her as Andraste's chosen. "Tell him then. And Josephine and Cassandra. No one else yet."

Leliana nodded and they started back toward Haven hand and hand. "You should know, Aria," she said, "the Wardens in Ferelden and Orlais have vanished. I haven't been able to trace them."

Aria stopped in her tracks. "What of Nathaniel and the Vigil?"

"I've heard nothing."

"Alistair?"

"Gone."

***

Aria called a meeting of her advisors when they returned to Haven.

"There's something you all need to know," she began. She and Leliana had rehearsed this on the way back from their walk. "I'm not Dalish. My name isn't Lavellan. This was a disguise meant to get me into Ferelden and into the Conclave unnoticed."

Cassandra and Cullen both reached for their swords, but a glare from Leliana stopped them both where they stood. "Let her continue."

"My name is Aria. Aria Surana."

Cullen went white as a halla. "Maker's breath, it had to be you."

It was obvious that Cassandra was still processing the revelation. The moment it clicked, the Seeker leapt to her feet. "We looked everywhere for you! Leliana, you said you didn't know where she was!"

"I didn't." "She didn't." They spoke simultaneously.

"I hadn't written in months. Do you know how hard it is to get letters out of the Anderfels?" Aria said. "I came on Warden business directly from Weisshaupt. I think I was supposed to have been in and out before anyone knew I was here."

"Tell them what you told me, ma chèrie," Leliana said.

Aria sighed and leaned into her lover. "The red lyrium around the temple felt familiar. It gave me a headache. I only get headaches like that around strong darkspawn. Emissaries, ogres."

Cassandra frowned. "Darkspawn at the Temple of Sacred Ashes? That makes no sense."

"I'm not saying it does, I'm just telling you what I felt."

"What kind of Warden business brought you to the Conclave?" Cullen asked.

"I was looking for something, maybe someone. I don't remember anything more specific than that," Aria answered.

"And sending a message to Weisshaupt to find out will take too long. You've placed us in quite the predicament here," Cassandra said, pinning Aria with a glare.

Aria shrugged the Seeker's glare off - it was no worse than Morrigan's, or Wynne's.

"Perhaps not," Josephine said. Her expression was thoughtful. "If used carefully, your identity could help us win favor in Ferelden. The country still remembers everything you did for them."

To everyone's shock but Leliana's, Aria shook her head. "No. Until I find out why I was here, I would rather keep my identity secret. I was here undercover and I want to stay that way while I can."

"What are we to call you then?" Cassandra asked.

"Aria in private. Herald or Lavellan otherwise."

"And what of the others? Should Solas or Varric know?" Cullen asked. "Are we to keep this to ourselves for now?"

"Yes," Leliana said. "Aria will tell others when she's ready."

Aria nodded. "For now, I need to figure out why I was at the Conclave."

"And," Josephine added, "We must seek help to close the Breach."

"The mages," Aria said, just as Cullen opened his mouth to say - she assumed - the opposite. "Grand Enchanter Fiona knows me, she'll negotiate."

Cassandra nodded, resigned. "Then we leave for Redcliffe at your word."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter skips to after the Inquisition has reached Skyhold. It's a rather large jump, but I might come back and fill it in at a later time.

Aria entered her quarters and immediately began to unbuckle her outer armor with a sigh of relief. A meow caught her attention a moment later and she whirled around to spot an all too familiar orange tabby seated at the end of her bed.

"Andraste's ass," she yelped.

The cat seemed to grin before its form shifted and grew. Once the transformation was complete, Aria closed the distance between them and threw her arms around the man who had appeared in front of her.

"I thought you were dead, don't do that to me again!"

Anders smiled wryly and returned the embrace. "Yeah, so did I for a while. I hate the Fade." She gave him a curious look and he sighed. "You don't remember the Conclave, do you?"

Aria shook her head. "Only bits and pieces... I know you were with me. I remember the wardens sent us, I remember my disguise. Beyond that, nothing until I woke up after the Breach."

"You touched that orb and sent us both into the Fade. I don't remember it myself, but Justice does," Anders said. He could feel her grip loosening and reached up to brush some hair from her eyes.

"Both of us...?" Her voice wavered. "I barely survived. Justice protected you? How did you get back out? Are you both okay? Maker, Anders..."

"It's alright," he murmured. "Justice found a rift that spit us out in the Hinterlands. We've been looking for you for about a month. Your fortress here's really hard to find when you can't ask for directions."

Aria let out a shaky sigh and buried her face into the feathers at his shoulder. A few moments later he felt the fabric of his robe become damp and he held her tighter.

"Aria..."

"I was terrified at first," she admitted. "They almost killed me when they found me. Did you know they thought I killed the Divine? Then the Breach almost killed me. Now the other wardens are missing, and now you're telling me if it hadn't been for Justice I could have lost you too?"

The wet spot on his robes grew larger.

"I'm here. It'll be okay, alright?" Anders said. He began to trail his fingers through her hair in an attempt to reassure her. "You didn't survive an Archdemon for this to be the end. I didn't survive Kirkwall to die in the Fade."

Aria finally lifted her head, revealing tear-stained cheeks and a half-hearted smile. "You're right, like always. We've come too far. I saved the world once, I'll do it again. And you'll help, right?"

"You know I'd do anything for you."

She straightened and wiped her eyes. Anders watched as she switched effortlessly back into leader mode. "You've missed a lot... Varric's here. He put me in contact with Hawke. She's helping us."

Now it was Anders turn to wilt. Aria watched him recede back into the shell she had gotten all too familiar with since he had fled Kirkwall and rejoined the wardens. Four years later and Anders still loved Ilyana Hawke, but not even Varric knew Ilyana's feelings now. The Champion never spoke of her once lover, and repeated questions were usually met with the pointed ends of her ever present daggers.

"I knew she'd been here," Anders said. "I was hoping I could see her... maybe that would be enough. I know she'll never forgive me."

Aria smiled sadly. Varric had told her almost the same thing, when she'd asked. Hawke hadn't even let her say Anders' name when they'd spoken. "Does she know you can shapeshift?"

Anders shook his head. "I never told her. It was my last line of defense from the templars back then."

"Then that's how you can see her," Aria said. "Stay here, or come out with me sometimes. If she doesn't know it's you, you should be safe."

Anders paused, wondering if the plan would work. But loneliness had long since set in; Aria was his closest friend, but he desperately missed his lover. "Does she know who you are?"

"No, she doesn't. Only my advisors and about half the inner circle do right now," Aria answered.

"And we're working on how to tell the rest."

Both mages turned to see Leliana standing at the top of the stairs, a soft smile on the spymaster's face. "Hello Anders. I was wondering when you would show yourself."

Anders raised an eyebrow in confusion. "You knew I was here? I thought I was doing a fairly good job at staying hidden."

Leliana laughed. "You were."

Aria leaned into her lover, enjoying the expression on Anders' face. Of course Leliana had known. Nothing slipped past the spymaster when it came to her safety.

"Oh, Anders," Leliana added. "There is a spirit boy here, he goes by Cole. Do stay away from him for now."

Aria's eyes widened and she nodded. "Yeah. He's a spirit of compassion so he means well, but he tends to blurt things out without warning. I'll talk to him, but until then we don't want him revealing you."

Anders nodded, a faint blue glow appearing for a moment in his eyes as Justice as well took note. "Alright. Thank you for letting me stay, both of you."

A moment later his form shifted once more and the orange tabby disappeared down the stairs.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated the tags some. Also, my updates are going to keep being slow, I apologize. Elder Scrolls Online kinda ate my life. I have a little more written ahead, but I haven't touched DA:I in three weeks and that seems likely to continue.

Over the next few weeks, Anders' disguise made him friends all over Skyhold. When he wasn't at the Inquisitor's side, he was keeping Cole company, patrolling the library or the battlements, or letting the younger mage recruits cuddle and play with him for comfort.

Finally the time came to meet Hawke and Alistair in Crestwood. Anders was desperate to see Hawke, even if from a distance, so he and Aria planned the party accordingly. Cole, who had been drawn immediately to Justice; Varric, to provide Hawke a sense of security despite not knowing Aria's identity as the Hero of Ferelden, and Blackwall. When they left Skyhold, Anders was tucked into Aria's pack. A scout carried his staff with their extra supplies - just in case.

Crestwood turned out to be a much longer and more intensive trip than any of them had expected. After draining the lake, closing several rifts, saving the village from undead, and capturing Caer Bronach, Aria and her party finally approached the cave where Hawke and Alistair waited.

Anders poked his head out from Cole's pack and let out a nervous meow.

"You know she'll defend you," the spirit boy murmured. "She always has."

Aria glanced back, ignoring Varric's curious look, and smiled. "Always."

"Hawke!" Varric called. He broke from the group and jogged up to meet his friend. Hawke smiled, though everyone present noticed it didn't reach her eyes.

"About time. I was starting to think the dragon got you," she said.

Aria shrugged. "It hasn't tried yet. Everything else has though. Where's Alistair?"

"Inside. Come on."

***

She hadn't expected to be greeted with a sword, though it made sense. The rest of the wardens were hunting him, would probably be hunting her if they knew she was alive. Of course Alistair was wary.

"Alistair." Aria inhaled, her breath shaky. Of the party she had chosen, only Anders and Cole knew, but being reunited with Alistair was more important than hiding the truth now. She'd just have to deal with the fallout. "It's me."

Alistair's eyes widened and he slowly lowered his sword. "Maker's breath... Aria? Where have you been?"

Aria sighed and pulled off the glove that hid the anchor to show him. "You know me. Trying to save the world. I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner."

Much to everyone else's surprise, he laughed at that and pulled her into a hug. "I've missed you. You just can't catch a break."

Aria smiled and returned it. "We never could."

Hawke looked between them, her expression unamused. "You two know each other?"

Aria turned her attention back toward the Champion, weighing her options quickly. "I'd ask that you keep this secret for the moment," she began, "But my name isn't Lavellan. That's the alias I was using before the Conclave. We decided it was best to keep using it for now."

Hawke's eyes narrowed even further. "So who are you really, Inquisitor?"

"Aria Surana."

A mix of emotions flitted across Hawke's face too quickly to be recognized. Aria had expected that. Anders warned her that he'd told Hawke some about his time with her wardens. "Everyone said you'd disappeared. Is this what you've been up to? People needed you."

"Hawke-" Varric tried to interrupt.

"We could say the same of you, Champion. But we're both here helping now, so just drop it. Can you still work with me?"

Hawke scowled but nodded. "The Inquisition is the only one doing any good, so I guess I have to. Varric obviously trusts you so you have my support, but that's all I promise."

"That's all I ask. Alistair, what have you found out about the rest of the wardens?"

"Corypheus can control them," Hawke added, "Is he doing that again?"

"Probably," Alistair sighed.

***

When they left the cave, Alistair and Hawke tagging along behind, Anders slipped from Cole's pack and went to Aria's side with a meow. She glanced down at him, reading in his eyes what his form wouldn't let him say. "You guys go on ahead. I'll catch up."

Once they were alone, Aria let her form shift to match his. She turned and licked his cheek. "Come on, let's get a little farther from the cave."

They found a sheltered spot beneath some nearby trees that would fit them both. Anders promptly shifted forms and began to cry, huge, heaving sobs that shook his whole body. Aria shifted back and hugged him tightly, her heart aching with every sob.

***

It was fitting, Aria figured, that when she returned to camp an hour later with Anders asleep in her pack, that Varric was the first to pull her aside.

"So," he began," The Hero of Ferelden, huh?"

Aria sighed and nodded. "Yeah. And before you ask, I don't know why I was at the Conclave other than the wardens sent us. Me."

She motioned Varric into her tent, unwilling to continue the conversation with Hawke's suspicious gaze on her from across the campfire. Once inside, she lifted Anders from her pack and laid him carefully on her bedroll.

Varric seized on the inconsistencies in her words like the master storyteller he was. "Us?"

"A friend came with me."

"I didn't think wardens made many friends."

Aria shook her head, a smile tugging at one corner of her mouth. "We don't usually. But he's a special case, and so is Alistair. The Circle was the same way."

"You left there willingly, right?" Varric asked.

Aria let out a soft laugh. "If only because I didn't have a choice. I'd helped a maleficar escape. The templars didn't care that I was only doing what the First Enchanter had told me to. But I was needed elsewhere, so it worked in my favor."

"The Blight didn't scare you?"

"Of course it did. But the templars made it clear that the Circle wouldn't be my home any longer regardless."

Varric nodded, then brought up the topic she'd been dreading. "You know, I'm not sure who was more hostile there, you or Hawke. I know Hawke hasn't been herself since Kirkwall, but..."

"Just spit it out, Varric," Aria said, letting out a sigh.

"If you say so," he replied, shrugging. "Tell me about Anders. The one you knew, since I'm not convinced the one Hawke and I knew was real at all."

Aria took a drink from her canteen, taking the time to collect herself before she spoke. "They're all real. The Darktown healer who did his best to help everyone, the big brother and protector of most of Kinloch's apprentices, the warden who saved my life more times than I can count. They're all Anders."

"And the Chantry? And Justice, or Vengeance, or whichever?"

Aria glanced down at the sleeping cat beside her, trying to decide how to put her feelings into words. Anders never spoke of it. "I suppose," she said at last, "He hoped Hawke would understand having to make a sacrifice for the greater good."


	4. Chapter 4

Varric left the tent a few minutes later, his earlier confusion gone and replaced with a sense of exasperation.

Hawke stood as soon as he returned. "I'm going for a walk. Don't wait up."

Alistair nodded. Once she was gone, he grabbed two plates of food and stood. He'd eaten already, but Varric didn't know that and Blackwall had already gone to bed. "Be right back."

He let himself into Aria's tent, where he found two cats curled up beside each other. Alistair smiled despite himself. "Alright, you two. Wake up. I brought dinner."

Aria lifted her head and nudged Anders awake. A moment later they were both human again and eating.

"How'd you know it was me?" Anders asked, his voice quiet.

Alistair smiled. "Don't tell me you forgot how many times we caught you curled up asleep in sunny spots around the Vigil."

Aria smiled as well. So much had happened lately, she had forgotten that.

Anders smiled a bit, though much like Hawke's earlier smile, it didn't reach his eyes. "No one knows me in this form, so I may as well take advantage."

They ate for a while in silence before Alistair spoke again. "You didn't seem surprised when Hawke mentioned that Corypheus can control us."

Aria sighed and set her mostly empty plate aside. "Because I suspected that already. The wardens sent us to the Conclave, but..."

She motioned to Anders, who picked up the story without hesitation. "She started acting really odd when we reached Haven. Then we got to the Temple and she led us right into the basement where Corypheus had maybe a dozen other wardens."

"And you can guess what happened then," Aria added, gesturing to her marked palm. "Anders snapped me out of it. So we knew he could control me, it's not much of a stretch to assume he was controlling the other wardens that were there."

"Could control you? You mean he can't now?" Alistair asked.

"No, the mark stops him. He tried though," Aria murmured. The memory of her encounter with him at Haven still sent shivers down her spine. "He was very angry when he discovered that..."

"The mark protects her and Justice protects me," Anders said, "Unfortunately... the rest of the wardens aren't so lucky."

"What about that Blackwall you have with you?"

Aria grimaced. "I don't know who he is, but we all know he's not a warden. He's got the act down well enough to fool everyone else though. He wants to help, he's good with a blade, and I want to keep an eye on him until Leliana figures out who he really is."

Alistair snorted in amusement. "She'll figure it out, that's for sure. So that's why you brought him. Now that he knows you're a warden, he has to listen to you or be exposed."

"Exactly." Aria's grin was reminiscent of her lover's. "Blackwall for that, Varric to be friendly with Hawke, and Cole because he already knows Anders."

At a look of confusion from Alistair, she continued. "He's a spirit of compassion in human form, it's complicated. Suffice it to say he likes Anders and Justice a lot."

"I can imagine."

Anders sighed and pushed his plate away, a fair amount of food still remaining. "He keeps trying to help me. I don't think even Compassion could fix this."

Aria rested a hand on his shoulder, her expression sympathetic. "He means well. His methods are just rather unorthodox."

Anders shrugged. "Thanks for bringing dinner, Alistair."

He shifted forms again and curled back up on Aria's pillow to sleep. The other two wardens shared a glance before Alistair ducked out of the tent to grab his bedroll. They hadn't brought enough tents, so he and Hawke would be sleeping where they could fit. Not that Ilyana would be sleeping tonight anyway, Alistair suspected. She didn't trust any of them enough to keep watch, save perhaps Varric.

***

They returned to Caer Bronach to resupply before the journey back to Skyhold. While there, Aria dispatched some of their best agents and soldiers to hunt down Mayor Dedrick. Knowing what he had done during the Blight, she would not allow him to go free any longer.

Cassandra was waiting for them at the gates when they returned. Varric promptly pulled Hawke in the opposite direction, ignoring the Seeker's glare. If there was to be a confrontation, he didn't want it to be in public. Hawke, he suspected, didn't care either way.

Aria came looking for Varric later after a tip from Cole that Cassandra had found him. She found the Seeker holding the dwarf's head to the railing in the upper level of the smithy, Varric struggling and spitting curses.

"You knew where she was all along!" Cassandra raged.

"You're damn right I did," Varric spat.

"Enough!" Aria shoved tendrils of force magic between them and pushed Cassandra away. "Stop this. I won't have you attacking each other."

"We needed Hawke! We thought she had vanished but no, it was just you! Hiding her!"

Varric scowled. "Of course. She's my best friend! Don't you think you did enough to her in Kirkwall? Why do you think I hid her, Seeker? I was trying to keep her alive!"

"Are you going to let this stand, Inquisitor?" Cassandra demanded. "If Varric is to stay, he needs to be on our side."

Aria sighed, feeling a headache begin to bloom at the base of her skull. "I may not like Hawke very much, but I understand why Varric protected her," she replied, doing her best to keep her voice even. "The Chantry's done enough to her. Andraste's ass, it's done enough to me and the ones that matter most to me that if I didn't have this mark you wouldn't have me here either."

Cassandra paused for a moment, her eyes narrowing as she connected the dots. "Anders. You're hiding him!"

"With how you're reacting to Hawke, can you blame me?" Aria retorted. "I've always protected him when I could and he's always returned the favor. Anyone who wants him dead for what he did in Kirkwall has to come through me."

"So you don't care that he started this war? That thousands of deaths are on his hands?"

"Wardens know sacrifices better than anyone else. Stay away from Varric and Hawke, Cassandra. I'll be watching."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consistent chapter lengths? What's that? More coming soon.

Aria turned to leave but Varric grabbed her arm to hold her back.

"Where is he?"

"Find me later. Alone."

***

Varric found her that afternoon in her quarters, with Leliana beside her and Anders curled up on the bed, appearing to be asleep. Aria doubted he was; years on the run had made him paranoid. He'd almost certainly woken up as soon as Varric entered.

"Is this alone enough?"

Aria nodded. Leliana's expression remained unchanged, though her fingers paused in the braid she was putting in her lover's hair. She was listening, as always.

Varric moved to sit at the desk chair. "Where is he?"

"If he wanted you to know that, you would," Aria answered.

"Andraste's tits! He's my friend too. I've been worried about him! We all have."

Aria's eyes flitted away for a moment. "Then I'll tell him that next time I see him, and if he's willing you can see him after that."

Varric sighed. "Fine. If that's how it has to be, fine."

Anders stirred as if he had just woken and jumped off the bed. He went to Aria's side, brushing against Varric on the way.

"Blondie told me once that he used to have a cat that looked a lot like this," the dwarf murmured.

Aria smiled as Anders settled on her lap and began to purr. "I know, I gave it to him."

"He used to put out bowls of milk around his clinic. Said he missed having a cat around."

"He took that cat to the Deep Roads, so I'm not surprised. We gave Pounce to Nathaniel after Anders vanished... I think he gave it to his sister. Last I heard, she still had it."

Anders meowed and Aria reached down to pet him. She'd never told him what had happened to Ser Pounce-a-lot. It was comforting, after all these years, to know.

Varric smiled and reached out a hand for Anders to sniff. "What's his name?"

"Revas. Solas says it means freedom."

"Blondie would've approved."

The dwarf stood and turned to leave.

"One more thing," Aria called as Varric began down the stairs. "This may be difficult, but I'd ask that you don't tell Hawke we had this conversation."

Varric sighed but nodded nonetheless. "As you say, Inquisitor. As you say."

***

It was much later that night when Anders finally returned to human form.

"I think... I'd like to talk to him," he murmured.

Aria glanced up at him and nodded. "Alright. We can make that work. Here or elsewhere?"

Anders shook his head. "Not here... she'd know. There's a cave in the Hinterlands near where we escaped the Fade. Give me a few days there with some supplies, maybe we can trick Varric into thinking I've been living there."

"I can have one of Leliana's agents deliver supplies. Give me the location."

Anders sighed and glanced out the balcony windows. "I'll leave tomorrow... Wait three full days, then bring Varric."

Aria nodded once more and stood, going to his side and wrapping her arms around his waist. "It'll be okay. You know I'll protect you no matter what."

Anders smiled and leaned in, pressing his lips to the fading vallaslin on her forehead. "Thank you. For everything."


	6. Chapter 6

Three days later, Aria took Alistair, Varric, and Cole on a mission to the Hinterlands. She'd asked Alistair to come as a favor; they both wanted to make things as safe for Anders as possible. Anders trusted Alistair almost as much as he did Aria.

When they approached the cave, Aria made a bird call, an old signal they used to use during their days at Vigil's Keep. After a moment, a response, a slightly deeper bird call and then Anders stepped to the mouth of the cave. The three days he had asked for had served their purpose - Anders looked ragged and worn, as if he had been living there for weeks or months instead of days.

"Shit, Blondie," Varric breathed.

Anders managed a hollow smile. "Hello, Varric."

Varric approached, sunk down onto a rock near the entrance, conveniently placed to act as a makeshift chair. "What happened to you? Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you, dammit."

Anders seated himself on a nearby rock, letting out a sigh. "I went back to Amaranthine and found Aria after the Chantry. The wardens took me in again, they protect their own... but only the ones who were there right after the Blight, when I first joined, would trust me. They knew me before. Knew us before."

Varric tensed, looking for an instant as if he wanted to flee. "You mean Justice. He's still with you."

"Yes. He's calmed, being away from Kirkwall. Vengeance is all but gone. I can control it."

The dwarf stood, only to have an aura of force magic spring to life around him and pin him back to the rock. At a wry glance from Alistair, Aria lowered her staff with a huff.

"That's what you said before you blew up the Chantry, so excuse me if I don't entirely believe you." Varric muttered.

Anders flinched and hung his head. "I know. I don't expect you to believe me. But I've only lost control once since I found Aria again, she helps."

Cole materialized beside him, staring with pale eyes. "Like Ilyana used to--"

Aria put herself between them and made the spirit boy step back. She'd feared this would happen since she'd brought Cole along, but she hadn't had another choice. "Cole, that isn't helping."

Varric looked between them; Anders, Aria, Cole, and they could each see the beginnings of understanding in his eyes. "Are you saying that Aria keeps Justice... Justice?"

Anders nodded. Slowly, Varric began to connect the dots.

"And Hawke could do that too?"

"Not as well, but yes," Anders answered. "I guess because Aria knew us both apart."

The dwarf exhaled and shook his head. What had he gotten himself into? They'd answered some of his questions, but each answer only created ten more questions in its place!

"If the wardens protect their own, why aren't you with them now?" he asked.

Anders hesitated, glanced to Aria. Varric followed his gaze and frowned. "What are you not telling me?"

Aria leaned against her staff and sighed. "Anders traveled with me to the Conclave. We were both thrown into the Fade. I escaped through the Breach, but..."

She gestured to Anders, who picked up the story without meeting Varric's eyes. "I escaped about a month later through a rift nearby. Justice kept me safe."

"I have the mark because I touched the orb," Aria continued, "But we were both there when everything happened."

Varric's eyes narrowed. "You said you didn't remember the Conclave."

"I don't. But they do," she admitted. "So I know what happened until we got separated in the Fade."

"If you know what happened, why haven't you told your advisors? Or the Seeker?"

This time, Anders was the one to sigh. "We have."

"You've been at Skyhold, haven't you?"

Anders averted his eyes and didn't respond, so Varric turned back to Aria. "Well?"

Aria laughed, humorless. "Pointless to deny that now. Yes, he's been there. But we weren't going to have this conversation there. Why do you think my identity isn't public knowledge, Varric? The wardens think we're both dead. Clarel has obviously lost it if she's ordered them to hunt Alistair. If she knew we were alive they'd be hunting us too."

Varric heaved out a sigh and stood. "For once in my life I'm speechless."

Anders sighed. "I'm sorry, Varric. Maybe this wasn't a good idea."

"Hell if I know, Blondie," the dwarf grumbled.

"You two talk for a while," Aria said, "We'll be nearby. Cullen has reports of bandits in the area he wants investigated."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see! I'm trying to get back to this, despite writer's block. I'll try not to leave you hanging for 5 months again.

Varric sighed and stood, his hand going automatically to rest on Bianca. "You need to talk to her."

"I can't," Anders insisted. "She hates me, Varric."

"You can't know that!"

"You didn't hear the last thing she said to me." Anders looked away, wishing he'd never heard those words. He couldn't blame Ilyana though. No, the blame was entirely his.

_'It's over, Anders. If I see you again I'll kill you.'_

_'Ilyana--'_

_'I'll fight for the mages, but not because of you. Get out.'_

"It's been three years!"

Anders shook his head. "If you can get her to agree she won't kill me on sight, I'll consider it. Otherwise I think this conversation's over. Aria and the others will be back soon." He turned to leave.

"Blondie, wait! Will I see you again?"

"Aria and Leliana know how to find me. We'll see."

***

They returned to Skyhold three days later, escorted by a hawk flying far above them. Aria went first to the rookery to meet her lover, then they went to her room where Anders, now in his cat form, was curled up on the bed. Aria glanced at Leliana, who smiled, before allowing her form to shift as well. The spymaster left her lover's room, locking the door behind her. It had been a difficult journey to and from the Hinterlands for them both.

***

Ilyana Hawke leaned against the ramparts, her gaze pinned to the horizon. Ever since discovering the Inquisitor's identity, something had been bothering her. Years ago in Kirkwall, Anders had told her stories of his escapades with the wardens, including his then best friend, the Hero of Ferelden. He'd probably sought her out after fleeing Kirkwall, why wouldn't she have taken him in again? Only a hero could protect a criminal. The way Anders had described his years with the wardens, he and Aria had been inseparable. She suspected they had been the same way in the Circle. So if Aria was here, running the Inquisition... where was her ex-lover?

There was only one possible answer.

Skyhold.


	8. Chapter 8

Ilyana stormed through the main hall of Skyhold, her face a mask of cold fury. After everything he had done, could Aria really be sheltering Anders with the power of the Inquisition? To the former Champion, that was unthinkable! Surely her advisors wouldn't allow it - or would they? Wasn't Lady Nightingale her lover? Regardless, Ilyana had no intention of trusting the Inquisitor. Not until she got her questions answered.

She tried the door to Aria's quarters, scowling as she found it locked. Of course.

Above, three loud knocks roused both Aria and Anders from their slumber. Aria hopped off the bed, her form shifting as she did so. After a moment to smooth her hair and adjust her clothes, she went to answer the door.

"Ah. Champion."

At least she was smiling, though Ilyana suspected it was fake. "Going to invite me in? We need to talk."

Aria stepped aside and motioned the other woman in. "Careful on the stairs. I haven't had them repaired yet."

Ilyana paused at the top of the stairs, taking in the tower room. The library, the stained glass windows, the orange tabby seated on the bed, its expression almost wary. Aria went around and seated herself on the bed, choosing to leave the couch for her guest.

"Nice place they gave you," Ilyana remarked. She wouldn't sit yet.

"Perhaps if I spent more time here I'd appreciate it more. Now I know you didn't come here to make small talk, Hawke. What do you want?"

Straight to the point then. "I know you know where he is."

Aria sighed, knowing immediately who Ilyana was referring to. She couldn't let on that Anders was here, not until the Inquisition had no further need of Hawke. So what to do? "Pointless to deny it then," she said. "But what makes you think you have any right to ask me that?"

At her side, Anders tensed. He wanted desperately to run, but with the door closed below them escape would be difficult.

Ilyana clenched both hands into fists, a wave of anger surfacing in her at Aria's words. "And what makes you think you have the right to hide him?"

"I've always protected him as best I could."

"Not like you were doing a good job," Ilyana spat. "You weren't there, what could you have done?"

"Just because you didn't see me doesn't mean I wasn't there." Aria's voice was cold. "I spent two years in Kirkwall after Stroud told me he was there! They stripped me of the commander position because I was always there with him. Even when the Vigil needed me, I was in Kirkwall as often as I could be because Anders needed me."

"Then where were you when he blew up the Chantry!"

"In the Vimmarks, investigating the prison that once held Corypheus. Working day and night with a dozen other wardens to find him before he did this!"

They were both shouting now. Anders had leapt off the bed and slipped down the stairs, silently praying that someone would hear him pawing at the door and let him out. It was a good thing that cats couldn't cry, since each of his ex-lover's words felt like a knife to the chest.

"I saw the warning signs, Hawke. Kirkwall was destroying him. I spent every second I could with him trying to get him to see that, trying to get him to leave. I begged him to even just return to the Vigil for a while. Do you know why he stayed?" Aria paused, her eyes narrowed. "He stayed because of you. Because being without you, he told me, was worse than anything Justice could have done in that damned city. If you want someone to blame for the Chantry, go look in a mirror."

Ilyana's voice was almost a snarl. "How dare you."

"The truth hurts, doesn't it?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I highly doubt this is the only confrontation Aria and Hawke are going to have.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least this chapter didn't take 5 months? Thanks for all the recent kudos, they got me motivated again :)

After two weeks to rest, Ilyana's restlessness decided for her that they'd waited enough. The wardens and the Venatori were both congregating in the Western Approach and something had to be done about it while they still had a chance. Hawke summoned Aria's advisors to the war table; a deliberate attempt to provoke the Inquisitor by skirting her rules, but Ilyana didn't care. In the end, Aria had shown up anyway, accompanied by Leliana. Trust Lady Nightingale to see through Hawke's plans.

"Well," Cullen began, "We don't have a presence in the Approach yet. Send Scout Harding and her team. They're the best we have."

"Hawke and Alistair can go with them then," Aria agreed. She was hesitant to let Alistair leave, but it was necessary. She couldn't protect everyone. Not that Alistair needed her protection. Besides, she wanted Ilyana gone for a while. Anders had been utterly miserable since the argument she'd had with the Champion several days prior. He hadn't returned to human form in days.

"We'll send word back with Scout Harding when it's safe for you to follow," Alistair offered. "Does that work, Hawke?"

It was difficult, mediating conversations between Champion and Inquisitor. Not even Varric's jokes and easygoing attitude could make Aria and Ilyana talk directly to each other. Hawke's temper now was shorter than it had ever been before Kirkwall, and if there was one thing she could be counted on to do it was hold a grudge. It would take a miracle to get them on speaking terms again.

Ilyana nodded. "How soon can Harding ready her team?"

"She's efficient. They'll be ready tomorrow morning," Cullen answered.

"Good."

***

True to his usual persuasions, Varric was already well at work on what he hoped would be just the miracle needed to get Champion and Inquisitor back on speaking terms, if only for Anders' sake. Bethany Hawke, former Enchanter of the Kirkwall Gallows, arrived at Skyhold in the escort of one former Crow assassin only two days after Ilyana and Alistair had departed for the Approach. Aria and Leliana kept a long list of former acquaintances just in case, and Zevran Arainai had fit the bill for this mission perfectly. Not that the Inquisitor knew he was coming. Varric had chosen him through a mutual friend: Isabela, Queen of the Eastern Seas, who had picked Bethany up from where Hawke had left her in Nevarra and brought her as far as Highever. Isabela wouldn't come to Skyhold herself; a combination of not wanting to leave her newly acquired ship and refusing to see how much the woman she'd once cared for had changed.

"Sunshine! Glad you could make it!"

Bethany smiled. "Are you really still going to call me that, Varric?"

"Of course. Come on, there's some people I want you to meet."

The dwarf led Bethany through the grounds of Skyhold, past his usual spot by the door to Solas' atrium, and then finally to the stairs up to Aria's quarters. "Now," Varric said, "They're not exactly expecting you. And Hawke's already gone, I should've told you that."

Bethany shook her head, a sigh slipping free. "No need, I figured she was gone. The place feels... lighter, in a way, without her. Who am I meeting?"

"The Inquisitor... and maybe an old friend, if she's in a good mood."

Now Varric wasn't a fool by any means. He knew Ilyana suspected Anders was in Skyhold, and he was beginning to wonder if that was true himself. His little trip to the Hinterlands to see the blond had likely just been a diversion. But he also knew that before she'd gone to the Gallows, Bethany and Anders had been close friends. Bethany, in fact, had been who Anders was closest to in Kirkwall apart from her sister, at least as far as the dwarf knew. While Hawke had spoken with him some about the argument, she hadn't told him that Aria had in fact been in Kirkwall.

Varric found the door locked and sighed, choosing to knock. "Inquisitor? It's me."

A few moments later Aria answered the door, stifling a yawn with her hand. "Varric? Sorry, I was catching a nap. Who's...?"

Aria's and Bethany's eyes met and Aria paused, her eyes widening with recognition. "Bethany?"

"I wasn't aware you knew me," Bethany said, "But yes."

"It's a long story. Come on in... both of you, I guess. Think I owe you both an explanation."

Bethany nodded. "Yes, that would be appreciated."


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aria takes a risk and Anders might just take the fall.

Aria showed them up the newly repaired stairs, sinking onto her bed once they reached the top. Anders, who had been sleeping on her pillow, stirred at the sound of footsteps and was soon wide awake. There was no way Ilyana would have knowingly let Bethany anywhere near Skyhold, so what had happened? He would soon find out.

Bethany took a seat on the couch, while Varric hovered for a moment at the top of the stairs. Once the dwarf seated himself beside Bethany, Aria began to speak.

"I assume Varric didn't fill you in before he brought you here."

"Fill me in about what?" Bethany asked.

Aria sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I'm getting really sick of all these lies," she said, "So I'm going to be blunt. My name's Surana. Aria Surana, Hero of Ferelden and now Inquisitor. I grew up in the Circle at Kinloch with another certain someone you both know."

"Anders," Bethany murmured.

Aria nodded. "As for you and I... well, I saw you briefly in Kirkwall. You didn't see me. Neither of you did."

"Wait," Varric interrupted. "You were in Kirkwall?"

"After Stroud told me Anders was there, I left Vigil's Keep with Alistair in command and went straight to Kirkwall," Aria explained. "He was easier to find than I thought he would be."

Anders, sitting on the bed beside her, let out a meow that almost resembled a sigh. Aria had found him with his phylactery. She had somehow managed to get both of their phylacteries from the Chantry. When she'd offered his back, he'd declined, telling her to keep it. She still had it, he assumed.

"I spent two years in Kirkwall before Alistair needed me back. Even after that, I was in Kirkwall as often as I could be, usually for months at a time. They took my Commander position away because of it. That's why Clarel commands the wardens in Ferelden and Orlais."

"If you were in Kirkwall that often, how did none of us know you were there?" Varric asked. He couldn't believe it. How was that possible?

Aria answered in the form of another question, directed to Bethany. "Have you ever heard of shapeshifters?"

"I have," Bethany said, "But I thought that was a rumor. What does that have to do with this?"

"It's not a rumor. The Chasind know how. One of my companions during the Blight was a Chasind apostate, she taught me. You didn't see me in Kirkwall because I was hardly ever there as a human."

"Maker's breath," Bethany murmured. "That... makes sense. Who else knows about this?"

Aria shrugged. "Leliana, of course. Alistair. Anders. Solas... probably suspects. I know the Fade is different when I'm not in human form."

Anders pawed at Aria's arm to get her attention. They communicated briefly without words before Aria cleared her throat and continued. "Anyway. I was there... a lot, honestly. My shapeshifting was a secret to keep me safe. I knew Cullen was with the Templars in Kirkwall and I didn't trust him not to lock me up, warden or not."

"You said Anders knows about this?" Varric asked.

Bethany glanced between him and Aria, her eyes widening as she made the connection. "He knows because you taught him, didn't you?"

Aria only nodded in response.

"I always wondered how the Templars never caught him. They raided his clinic so many times but he said he was never there. Except he was, but the Templars were looking for a human."

"Exactly. It's his last line of defense... and he's not exactly pleased with me for telling you this, but you were going to find out anyway," Aria sighed.

"Hawke thinks he's at Skyhold." Varric said.

"She's not wrong."

Anders hopped off the bed, tired of being spoken about like he wasn't present, and trotted into the small closet. The shifting process wasn't necessarily pretty... and perhaps he was nervous. As close as they had been in Kirkwall, he had no idea what Bethany thought of him now. But she had lived in the Gallows, she had to understand. Now fully human, Anders brushed some wrinkles from his robes and stepped back out into the room. "I know you have questions... You may as well just ask me yourselves. Hello Bethany. Varric."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's hope this works :)


	11. Chapter 11

In those few moments, all of Skyhold felt as silent as a graveyard. Then Bethany rose, her robes swishing around her, and crossed the room to where Anders stood. A moment later, she slapped him, the echo reverberating throughout the tower.

"That's for lying to my sister."

Anders winced, though he remained silent. Maker knew he deserved it.

Next, to his shock, Bethany hugged him.

"Bethany..."

"I know why you thought you needed to do it," she said, "That doesn't mean I like it... but I understand. I missed you."

Anders allowed himself a weak smile and moved, finally, to return the embrace. After three, almost four years of only Aria touching him in human form, this was strange. Bethany seemed to sense his unease and broke the embrace a moment later. She looked him up and down and let out a sigh before returning to her seat beside Varric.

Anders quietly sat down beside Aria, who wrapped an arm around him almost immediately; a lifetime of protection visible in that single gesture. Both Bethany and Varric took note. Any questions they had would have to be asked carefully. Anders relaxed into her, so slightly that it was almost unnoticeable.

"Please don't tell anyone else about the shapeshifting," he murmured. He didn't need to be anymore specific, they all knew he was referring to Hawke. "I trust you both, but..."

Bethany nodded. "Of course. Your secret is safe with us. That goes for both of us, right Varric?"

"Yeah," Varric agreed. The dwarf was still rather in shock that Anders had simply appeared. He really had been in Skyhold the entire time. Ilyana would be furious if she knew. Even more so than she already was.

"Where have you been all this time?" Bethany asked.

"I went back to the wardens... Aria's been protecting me." Anders glanced to her briefly. "The newer recruits don't trust me though, so Nathaniel just paired us both up."

Aria sighed. "And now the wardens think we're both dead. That complicates things."

"Both of you?"

"They sent both of us to the Conclave," Anders said.

Bethany's eyes widened as she caught the meaning behind his words.

"We were both in the Fade. Justice remembers it. Yes, he's still here. He protected me. We got separated though. Aria escaped through the Breach, but I didn't get out until later."

"And since Clarel has obviously gone insane, we're... hiding here, I suppose," Aria added. "At least for now. I'll have to reveal my identity at some point. After we determine how compromised the wardens are. Hawke and Alistair are investigating that in the Approach now."

Anders nodded.

"Does my sister know who you really are?"

Aria couldn't help a grimace. "Yes. I... could've handled it better. And she knows I'm protecting Anders, but I haven't told her he's here."

Varric sighed. "You don't need to, she's pretty damn sure already. Sorry, Blondie."

Anders' smile was mournful. "I know. She's seen me a few times... without knowing, of course."

"Anders came to Crestwood with us," Aria admitted.

Varric suddenly laughed. "You told me the cat's name was Freedom. I should've known!"

That got a smile out of Anders. Aria only shrugged. "It wasn't very original, I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just about caught up to where I left off in game now!


End file.
